Home Again
by BackHome
Summary: It's been two months. Two months without any leads. But their luck is about to change, or is it? CASKETT REUNION. Picks up after season 6 finale.
1. Chapter 1: Coming home

It's been two months. Two months of endless researching, two months of no leads. But most of all, it's been two months without him. She misses his humor, his touch, even his annoying comments. She just misses him.

The entire precinct has been held up by this one case; the disappearance of Richard Castle. His body was not in the car, which gave everyone, especially Beckett, hope. This meant he wasn't killed in the fire. This meant there was still a chance he was alive. But the more time passed, the smaller the chance of his survival was. After all this time, Kate started to think about the fact that she may never see her fiancée again. He may be gone forever.

* * *

Sometimes, she was just sitting at her desk, looking at his chair. Hoping that he would just appear. 'Detective Beckett, could you come to my office, please?' Gates asks, while she's been seeing that her best detective is gradually disappearing in a hole she would not be able to climb out of. Kate looks up and notices that Ryan and Espo are already in Gates' office. She gets up, grabs her cup of tea (she can't even think about drinking coffee without wanting to break down) and walks towards her colleagues. Ryan has a look on his face that she can't place, Espo won't look her in the eye.

'Detective, there is a lead in Mister Castle's case.' 'Sir?' Kate asks while a spark ignites in her eyes. 'Kate, you can't get mad at us about this. Trust me, we wanted to tell you about this. We were ordered not to, I'm so sorry.' Ryan rambles. 'Guys, what's going on? What do you know Javi?'

'Two weeks after his disappearance, we found some evidence which led us to a human trafficking organization. They've been hacking into his laptop, trying to figure out how much he was worth.' Esposito starts. Ryan continues: 'so, we started to investigate, but we had to stop. Apparently, the FBI was onto this organization and didn't want us interfering with their investigation. But, we struck a deal. The moment the FBI was ready to arrest these bastards, they would let us know. That way, we could go in with them.' 'So you think Castle's been abducted by this organization?' Beckett asks with hope in her voice. 'We can't know for sure, detective. But we have to warn you. These people are known for their rough treatment. If Mister Castle is there, which is already a big if, he may not be in a good state. You have to prepare yourself for the worst.' 'Sir, I've been preparing myself for the worst for the past two months. I'm ready. When are we leaving?' 'Oh, you are not going in with them. We can't have your emotions interfere with this arrest.' Gates says. Before Kate starts saying that she has to go with them, Gates says: 'That's an order, detective. From now on no more radio contact until Mister Castle is safe. Once he's in the hospital they'll let you know. Detective, you have to remember that he may not even be there. Please don't get your hopes up.' Beckett says nothing. She just looks at Esposito and Ryan. Ryan gives Beckett a hug and says: 'We'll let you know as soon as it's over okay?' Kate gives a small nod. Espo follows Ryan out of the door and just before he's out of sight, he turns to her and says: 'don't worry, we'll go get your man, chicca.'

* * *

It's four o'clock and the operation started two hours ago. The longest two hours of Kate's life. She just sits at her desk and stares at her phone. The rare moments when she does get up, she hold her phone in her hand. Arrests are not supposed to take this long. They should've called by now.

Gates watches from her office, at the broken woman in front of her. A woman who, from the moment she took of her wedding dress, has not stopped searching for her fiancée. Gates admires her strength, but she sees that this is the last straw for Kate. If he's not there, she'll break. She'll go down a rabbit hole that'll be really hard to climb out of. But Kate Beckett will pull trough. She'll always have a huge hole in her heart, which no one or nothing can replace. Everyone in the precinct looks at the broken woman and thinks the same. He's the only one who can truly fix her.

She can't take it anymore. She tried to do some paperwork to fill the time. She just can't do it. It's nine o'clock now, the operation is taking seven hours already. Everyone, even Gates, is getting worried. Someone calls Beckett into the break room. There's some Chinese, and she should eat something. There are not many people left in the precinct, a couple of on duty officers, Gates and Beckett. There are a couple of leftovers and Kate starts eating them, without really tasting what she's eating. Out of habit, she starts making coffee.

* * *

_The moment you step out of the elevator you smell it: Home. Coffee. Cherries. Her. You feel that your legs are giving in. But your friends help you reach your final destination. The more you walk, the more it hurts. Maybe you should've gone to that hospital first. Maybe you should not have been so stupid to go back here against medical advice. Perhaps…. But all of those thoughts wash away the moment you see her. She's making coffee. You will never get tired of this sight. You hope you get to see this sight at the loft, in the precinct, later in a retirement home. This beautiful, strong, amazing woman. This woman who looks so broken, but who is still the most gorgeous person in the world. This woman, who is your home._

_You've missed her so much, but the thought of coming home kept you sane. She kept you sane._

_The moment you reach the threshold you look at your friends, they understand. They let you go and walk towards their desks. You'll have to thank them later. First, you have to say something to the one you love most. Something close to 'Honey, I'm alive!'_

* * *

Kate doesn't notice the fuss around her. She is lost in her own thoughts. Once her coffee is done, she takes a sip and it just doesn't taste right. She flushes it down the drain, when she hears someone say: 'Oh, come on! I haven't had a cup of coffee for like two months and you're just throwing it away? Now this is torture.' She slowly turns around, afraid that this is yet another illusion. In the time she's turning around, he starts to make his way to her. When she sees that he's really here, she just says 'Oh, God' and throws her arms around his shoulders.

Time seems to stop. It seems like they are in their own bubble of infinity. During the hug, reassurances are whispered, loves are declared and no questions are asked. It's just them.

Castle is the first one who lets her go, just far enough to see her face. Tears are streaming down both their faces, but no one seems to care. 'I thought… I thought I'd never see you again. Castle, I thought I had lost you.' She whispers. 'I promised you; no, never. You won't lose me Kate. I'll be there to annoy you, always.' He says with a smirk. Kate smiles. She smiles after two months of sadness and anger. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't know what to say. So, she does the thing she so badly wanted to do after hearing two significant words and having a ring exchange. She kisses him. Slowly, soft, not demanding. Of course, he follows her wish willingly. It's not a big, passionate kiss. It's a small, simple kiss. It's the kind of kiss which reassures they are both here. They are not leaving anytime soon. They are both alive. The kiss is a promise. A promise for their future.

When the kiss is over, Kate looks at him. He's in bad shape. His face is covered in cuts and bruises. She says that he has to go to the hospital. He accepts and they walk into the precinct. Ryan and Espo help Castle to stay on his feet and on their way to the elevator Captain Gates walks towards the three detectives and the writer. 'Mister Castle, I am very happy that we found you and that you are alive. Just try not to be kidnapped again. Got it?' 'Yes, Sir. I'll try my best, trust me.' 'Good. Now, detective Beckett, I'm giving you a week of so you can both get a rest. I don't want you near my precinct. Now go, get your man better.' Just before the elevator doors close Kate says: 'I will. Thanks for everything, Sir.' 'Anytime, detective.'

* * *

On their way to the hospital not many words are spoken. Beckett and Castle don't let go of each other. After he's been diagnosed, they thank Ryan and Espo. They leave and Kate and Rick are alone for the first time in forever. His eyes are slowly closing but he doesn't want to sleep. Not now that he has her back. Kate sees he's fighting sleep and says; 'Just go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up.' 'Will you be there every morning?' he mumbles. 'Always' she says softly. She doesn't know if he heard her, but the smile on his peaceful face says enough. She falls asleep with her head on his arm. It doesn't matter that they are in a white hospital room without meaning. He's here, she's here. _They are home._

* * *

**Author's note:**

**This is the first story I've ever written, so I would love to hear your opinion!:)**


	2. Chapter 2: Changing the story

AUTHORS NOTE

**Hi guys! Thanks so much for all the support! I'll try to update at least once a week, probably on Sundays:)**

* * *

He feels like he has slept for days. But her presence tells him otherwise.

He hears her whisper "Hey, Castle" as if she isn't sure if he's awake. Slowly, he opens his eyes. For a while, he can't see a thing. But when his eyes start to work, there's only one thing he can focus on. He will probably never get over wondering why this beautiful woman wants to be with him. And while he doesn't know the answer, he thanks God every day for it.

Castles eyes lock with hers "Hey, how long did I sleep?" He says.

"Well, overall a couple of hours. You did wake up a couple of times, though. Did you have nightmares?" Kate asks.

The moment she mentions them, he remembers the nightmares much more vividly than he wants to. She sees the sudden fall of his face and she gets out of her chair, towards his bed.

"Rick, what's wrong? What did you dream of?" Castle doesn't answer. He is lost in his own head.

_Why is it so incredibly dark in here? You've seen dark places before, but this place beats all of those moments. You can't see a thing. You can't hear a thing. You can't remember how you got here. But the scariest thing of all, you can feel you are not alone._

"Castle? Castle, listen to me! Rick, you have to wake up!" Kate has never seen him like this before. His face is blank. The moment she touches his arm, he snaps out of it. He grabs her, but the moment he realizes it's her, he lets her go. He starts apologizing but he doesn't know what for. What is wrong with him?

"It's okay Rick. What happened? What did you see?" Kate asks, with a shocked look on her face.

"I, I don't know. It was.. It was dark. God Kate, it was so dark." Castle mumbles.

"Do you remember what happened to you?"

"No... Yes, a little bit," Rick confesses. "They held me captive in some sort of box and they kept asking questions. I, I didn't answer them. I don't think I answered their questions."

"Castle, listen to me," Beckett says with concern in her voice. "Did you hear anything that had to do with human trafficking?"

"Human trafficking? No! The questions were more personal. They were about Tyson and Bracken. But not just them. They asked about a lot of cases we worked on together. Yes! That's it! They asked about you, Espo, Ryan, the entire precinct actually."

"Is that why they hurt you? Because you didn't answer?" Castle nods. Kate continues, "I have to make a few phone calls. Try to sleep, okay?"

"Kate, what's going on?" Castle says to an empty room.

* * *

"Espo, I am telling you, something is not right. He is not himself. He says things that make no sense. He says his kidnappers asked him questions about us, about the precinct. I just don't know what to make of it," Kate says as she stands in the hallway.

"Maybe he just has a concussion or something. Just roll with it. Check with the doctors and if they say he is fine then look into what he is saying." Esposito answers.

"Okay, thanks Javi."

"No worries. Keep me posted," Esposito says as he finishes the phone call.

Beckett tries to keep Espo's words in mind, but she can't shake the feeling that Castle was telling the truth. He looked so genuine, he was so convinced by his own story. Still, Kate goes to the nurse's station to ask for Castle's doctor, Dr. Hudson. Apparently, she is not on duty right now, but if it's something urgent they can page her.

"Oh no, it's okay. When will she be back again?" Kate asks the head nurse.

"Her shift starts at ten o'clock tonight, if you want to I can put Mr. Castle on her schedule."

"That would be great. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Ms. Castle."

She has to admit, it hurts. But not as much as when she had to cancel their honeymoon and they called her the same name. That moment was the first time in the first month he was gone, that she wasn't in work mode. She was sitting on her side of the unmade bed, unwilling to change anything for when he might return. The moment they called her by _that name, _she felt a pain in her heart, that hadn't left until his return.

She shakes off the feeling and keeps telling herself 'he's okay, he's here.' Only three more hours until the doctor comes to take a look at him. It's probably just temporary. He does have a writer's imagination, so he can produce very detailed stories. Yes. That has to be it. It just has to be.

When Kate returns to his room, she sees that Castle is asleep. He's on some heavy medication, so she can probably go home and change without him even noticing that she's gone. Maybe, everything will be back to normal when she returns. Maybe, he'll be fine. But maybe, _their nightmare isn't over yet._

* * *

_"__Hey, lover." You love it when she calls you that. When she says that little word, you know she's being honest with you. You talk about the wedding. With your fiancée. You're getting married and yet you still can't over the fact that she is your _fiancée. _God, you were so nervous when you asked her. And you know that she deserved a big, elaborate proposal. It was just not what she wanted. And you would give her your heart, if she desired it. Hell, you would even give her your absence, if that were what she wanted._

_You were so afraid that she wanted the latter. So afraid that she would say 'no', that she would walk out of your life. You were so afraid that you were going to lose her. Those minutes between your question and her answer seemed to go on for hours. _

_She chose you, and now you're here. On your way to your wedding. You both end the call with saying I love you, for the last time as fiancées. _

_You're happy, really happy. You try to picture her in her wedding dr…._

**_Everything turns black._**

* * *

He wakes up. He's not as scared as last time. Rick is still scared, his heart is still chasing, but at least he knows where he is now. As he opens his eyes, he just knows that Beckett is not here. He sees the next best thing.

"Hey, Pumpkin."

"Hey, dad. How'd you sleep?" Alexis answers.

"Pretty well, actually. Although I have to say that it's pretty hot in here. It feels like I'm burning up," he says with a big grin on his face.

"Dad! That isn't funny! I thought you were dead! We all thought you were dead. You didn't see…" Alexis ends with a big sob. Castle has a shocked look on his face.

"Oh, honey! Come here." Alexis listens to her father, sits on his bed and takes his hand. "Look, do you know how much I missed you? I thought of you guys all the time. There were times I didn't know if it was day or night and I was so scared. But then I thought of your sleepy head on Sunday mornings and the way you hug me when I return from a book tour and I always thought 'everything will be fine'. At least for a while. Alexis, you, Kate, your grandmother, every single one of you got me through the last months. And, of course, my incredible coping mechanism; sarcastic humor." Alexis gives him a look. "Okay, that mechanism may still be on. I'll work on it, promise?"

"Fine. Apology accepted. I'm just really, really glad you're alive."

"I know, Pumpkin. Me too."

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE

**So, yeah, I continued. Again, let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3: Feeling home

** Hi guys! Sorry, I'm a day late, but I'll try to upload the next chapter next sunday! Thanks so much for the follows, and let me know what you think:)**

**I don't own the characters, only the story which you don't know from the show:)**

**Special thanks to Alex, who makes the story understandable for everyone!**

**Have fun reading and let me know what you think!**

* * *

"He's back." She looks at the man who is so familiar with her secrets, yet she doesn't know a thing about him. She smiles. "I can take him home today. He's coming home."

"Why is it that you don't seem that happy about it? What's wrong, Kate?" Dr. Burke asks. This is the ninth time she's been here since their wedding day. She didn't have anyone she could really talk to, not even Lanie. Burke has helped her through so much. The shooting, her wall (though that was due in large part to Castle), and of course Castle. She didn't need his help in the last two wonderful years. She had someone to talk to. She had Castle. The moment he disappeared was the moment she needed Dr. Burke. And even though Castle is back, she still finds herself sitting in front of her own therapist.

"There's nothing wrong. He's back and he is well. We're able to see each other again, to talk to each other again. It's great ." She says unconvincingly

"Kate, I've known you long enough to see when you are hiding something. But I can also see when you are scared. Right now, you're both. What are you scared of?"

She lets out a big sigh, like she has been holding her breath for too long. "I'm scared that he isn't the same."

"What makes you think that?"

"I've told you what happened to him, right?" Dr. Burke nods. "Well, Castle has been having nightmares. They are very vivid. Every time he wakes up he looks so scared, like a little boy. The moment I ask him what happened in his dream he just brushes me away saying he is fine.

But that's not the part that scares me. What scares me is that when we asked him what happened, he starts to tell a story that makes no sense. He knows nothing about the human trafficking and he says that his kidnappers asked questions about the precinct."

"Did you ask his doctor to check him out?"

"I did. She checked him out yesterday and said it may be caused by his injuries. But I don't know if that's it. I know he has a vivid imagination, but he was so convinced of his own story. I just, I don't know what to do."

"Why don't you take him home, get him settled and just talk to him. Explain the situation, maybe he'll remember once he knows the story."

"Maybe. I'll try to fix him."

"I know you will, Kate."

* * *

Beckett goes back to the hospital, where she bumps into Martha.

"Katherine! How wonderful to see you today! I'm sorry I didn't make you coffee this morning, was catching up with some old friends." Martha hadn't left the house in the last two months. She has been a parent to Alexis while he was gone. Not just Alexis. Kate hadn't been back to her apartment since he left. She couldn't be without his family, without him. They helped her so much.

"Oh, it's okay Martha! Did you just visit him?"

"Sure did, kiddo. Richard is waiting for you in his room, anxious to get home."

"As am I."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing Alexis is leaving for college and I am leaving for the Hamptons for a week. You to have some, uhm, catching up to do." She replies suggestively.

"Martha!" Kate says shocked.

"Come on Katherine, we are all adults here." Martha says with a small wink. "Alright, got to go. Take care of him."

"I will, thank you Martha." Kate whispers as she pulls Martha into a warm hug.

"No problem, kiddo."

* * *

Beckett decides to put her doubts aside and just bring him home. This is proving easier than she thought it would be. Castle is sitting at the end of his bed, bag packed next to him and playing some kind of game on his phone. She leans against the doorframe and just watches him, he would probably call it creepy. The moment he sees her, a wicked smile spreads across his face.

"You comin' Castle?"

"I thought you'd never ask," he says as he jumps off his bed and runs towards her. She is already walking down the corridor when he puts his arm around her shoulder.

"Let's go home, Rick"

He stops her and turns her towards him. "I am already home," he says, just before he kisses her.

The kiss in the precinct is nothing compared to this. She didn't see it coming, but she gives in easily. It's a kiss that screams 'Finally!'. They both don't care where they are, they are together. This kiss is tantalizing on new levels. This kiss is –

"Sorry to interrupt, but this a hospital. I'm very glad you are feeling better Mr. Castle, but try to take this home, okay?"

"Sorry Dr. Hudson," Beckett says while her cheeks turn red.

"I'll let it slip this time. Mr. Castle, could you go with the nurse, Yolanda, to sign your release forms?"

"Of course," Castle says as he follows the woman in pink scrubs.

* * *

Dr. Hudson turns to Beckett. "We got some test results back today. We did a CT-scan to see if there might be some brain damage, which could explain his memory. We can't find anything. I think it might be better if he'd talk to a psychiatrist. Mr. Castle may be experiencing some form protection by his own brain. We've seen it in PTSD patients. The trauma is blocked by their brain, and they automatically fill the gap with a new story. For them, the story seems very real."

"And you think Castle may have PTSD?" Kate asks?

"I'm not a psychiatrist, so I can't diagnose him. If you want to I can recommend someone?"

"No, thank you. I know someone as well."

* * *

Rick returns from filling out his forms and he finds Beckett waiting for him.

"Okay, I have a question that's been bothering me." He says.

"Shoot."

"You don't have a new boyfriend right? I mean, I wouldn't blame you. I was gone for a long time! I just…"

"Seriously?" Kate interrupts.

Castle continues, "so, what I wanted to ask is; are we still engaged?"

"Always."

"I get the sentimental meaning behind that and I love you too, but I hope you don't want to be engaged for that long. I mean, we might want to change that status in the near future."

"Shut up, Castle."

"Yes, dear." He teases.

They step into the car and head to the place they desire to be: Home.

* * *

**Not much action/big developments this chapter, but next chapter will be the opposite of that! Let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4: Missing

**Hi guys! I'm so sorry it took me such a long time to upload this chapter! Life has been crazy, and I hope I'll upload the next chapter within the next week. I've got it planned out!**

**Special shoutout to Alex, who's the person that keeps you guys from reading some horrible mistakes:)**

**Disclaimer: You know this part, right?**

* * *

It's been such a long time since he's been in the loft. He recognizes his house, but he knows something has changed.

"So, how does it feel?" Kate asks teasingly.

"How does what feel?" Castle answers.

"Finally being able to drink coffee again. Do you want a cup?"

"I thought you'd never ask. Oh, and you'll only owe me 99 cups of coffee!" She pats his shoulder and walks over to the kitchen counter. He walks towards the couch and sits down.

It's strange for her. She's finally going to drink coffee again. But she didn't miss the coffee. She missed him. She missed the way his eyes lit up every day they woke up together. She missed the smell of coffee and Castle in the morning. But he's here now. So she'll make him coffee. To remind herself that he is here.

* * *

Castle interrupts her thoughts. "How have the boys been?"

"Ryan has been busy being a dad and Espo… Well, let's just say ours is not the only wedding we'll be attending." She says, raising her eyebrow.

"Really?! Lanie and Espo are back together? Finally! Tell me everything about it. Every single detail. From the moment I left until now."

They both keep calling his disappearance 'the moment he left'. It's just easier to think of it that way.

"Well, first of all, they missed you. A lot." Beckett says while she walks over to him with two cups of steaming coffee in her hand. She has a serious face and he knows she has a hard time talking about that period, like him. The only difference is, she knows what has happened to her in the past two months, and he doesn't have a clue.

Kate continues, "I had a lot of help in the first week. Everything about the wedding had to be canceled, the investigation, I just didn't know where to start. Also, I wasn't in the best state to handle such things. So, Ryan, Espo, Lanie, Martha and Alexis helped me and each other."

He can see she is having a difficult time talking about this, so he doesn't interrupt her. He just looks at her, puts his hand around her leg for comfort, and he listens.

"Together, we took care of all the big things and we saw each other 24/7. Jenny brought dinner to my apartment, which was where we did all the work, every night. After a while, they all went home in the evening. Jenny took Kevin home, Martha and Alexis went to the loft and, apparently, Javi and Lanie went home together too. They're not officially engaged, but I know it's coming soon."

* * *

Castle had stopped listening the moment Kate told him about the fact that she didn't go with Martha and Alexis.

"Why did you stay?" he asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You said everyone went home at night, but you stayed at your place? Why didn't you go with Mother and Alexis?"

She swallows and ducks her head. When she talks, her voice is soft.

"I couldn't do it."

"You couldn't do what?"

"Damn it Castle! I couldn't go home. I couldn't go to a place where everything smelled like you, where everything reminds me of you. I couldn't go home if you weren't there. Don't you understand? I thought I'd never see you again. Do you really think that I could sleep in our bed? Do you really think that I could wake up every day and face Alexis? She blamed me, Castle. I blamed myself!"

"Kate…" he says as he tries to come closer. She doesn't let him. She gets up and stands in front of him.

"No, let me finish." She takes a deep breath and continues.

"I blamed myself. I thought that your kidnapping had to do something with Bracken. I thought he wanted to take his revenge. I thought he wanted to kill you to get to me. So yeah, I blamed myself. That's why I couldn't stay at the loft."

* * *

During her rant, Castle had stood up. He's now just standing there, looking at her, not moving. He had been selfish. He hadn't even asked her how she had been the past two months. He hadn't realized how hard this must have been on her. He had taken her for granted and he's only realizing it now.

He has been a selfish asshole ever since he got back.

"Kate, I am so sorry. I've been selfish, only thinking about me. I have no idea what you have been through and I want to know. So please, forgive me for being the jerk that I am."

"Shush, Rick. We've both been through a lot. I'm just happy you are back."

"I'm happy to be back."

They both sit down without saying a thing. They just settle in, Kate leaning against Castle. He puts his arms around her and after a couple of minutes he realizes she has fallen asleep.

He just looks at her and hopes he gets to wake up to that face for the rest of her life.

"Staring is creepy, Castle"

He smiles.

_She's back._

* * *

When they go to bed, Kate realizes she barely has any of her things at the loft

"Rick, can I borrow a T-shirt and a pair of boxers?"

"Just like the good old days, of course."

"Oh, shut up."

They brush their teeth together and share glances through the mirror. It really is like the good old days. The days where they had to hide everything from everyone. The days where the secrets were part of the fun. Now, their relationship is part of the fun, among other things of course.

Both Beckett and Castle know they are alone in the loft, but they both don't want to make the first move. What if the other one isn't ready? Kate has no idea what he has been through, hell, he doesn't even have an idea what he has been through.

For tonight, it is enough to sleep in the same bed again. For tonight, it's enough.

* * *

_You're back. You don't know where you are, but the noises around you are clearer. You hear breathing, cars, water, and voices. As you try to move, you realize the box is really small. 'Don't focus on the small box, don't focus on the small box with little oxygen' is all you can think. You try to focus on something else, you choose the voices. You can't quite understand what they are saying, it sounds like they are talking another language. _

_When the voices come closer you realize they are talking English, but with heavy accents. You can't quite place the accent but you're hearing some French and Russian in there. 'Weird combination', is all you can think. As you focus on the voices, you can hear what they are saying. _

_"__Is he ready?" The French man. _

_"__He needs one more taping, but then he's ready." The Russian man._

_Right now, it's not the box that terrifies you. It's the unknown answer to a very important question:_

_'__Ready for what?'_

* * *

**As always, let me know what you think!**

**Love, Emma**


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